Our good friends Greg and Julie Gorman with Married For A Purpose have a saying “what you feed grows, and what you starve dies.” When it comes to marriage and relationships, this is profound, but simple advice with huge consequences.
Whether it’s a plant, animal or any other living things, this saying holds true, and our relationships are like this as well.
Just as a garden requires nurturing, attention, and consistent care, so too does a marriage demand effort, commitment, and dedication. The age-old adage, “What we feed grows, what we starve dies,” rings particularly true in the context of matrimony. Let’s explore this metaphor and delve into how it applies to the dynamics of marriage.
Planting the Seeds: The Foundation of Marriage
Every successful marriage begins with the planting of seeds – the vows, promises, and commitments made between spouses. Just like planting seeds in fertile soil, these initial stages require attention and care. Couples embark on their journey together, filled with hope, dreams, and aspirations. However, the seeds alone are not enough to sustain the relationship; they require nourishment to flourish.
Nourishment through Communication and Connection
Communication acts as the water that sustains the roots of a marriage. Just as plants need water to grow, couples need open, honest communication to thrive.
Regularly expressing thoughts, feelings, and concerns fosters understanding and strengthens the bond between a couple. Taking the time to truly listen and empathize with one another cultivates emotional intimacy and lays the groundwork for a resilient relationship.
Similarly, connection serves as the sunlight that nourishes the marriage. Spending quality time together, sharing experiences, and creating memories deepens the connection between spouses.
Whether it’s enjoying a leisurely stroll in the park, cooking a meal together, or simply cuddling on the couch, these moments of togetherness sustain the love and affection within the relationship.
Weeding Out Negativity: The Importance of Addressing Issues
Just as weeds can choke the life out of a garden, unresolved issues and negativity can stifle the growth of a marriage. Ignoring problems or sweeping them under the rug only allows them to fester and spread. It’s essential for couples to address issues head-on, with compassion and understanding. By tackling challenges together, couples can strengthen their bond and emerge stronger than before.
Fertilizing with Effort and Commitment
Marriages, like plants, require ongoing care and maintenance. Effort and commitment serve as the fertilizer that nourishes the relationship, ensuring its continued growth and vitality. This entails being proactive in showing love and appreciation, prioritizing the needs of the relationship, and being willing to make sacrifices for the greater good.
Examples of Feeding and Starving in Marriage
- Feeding: Regular Date Nights Making time for regular date nights nourishes the marriage by allowing couples to reconnect and strengthen their bond.
- Starving: Neglecting Quality Time On the flip side, neglecting quality time together can starve the relationship, leading to feelings of disconnect and resentment.
- Feeding: Open Communication Engaging in open and honest communication nourishes the marriage by fostering understanding and trust between a couple.
- Starving: Avoiding Conflict Avoiding conflict and failing to address issues head-on can starve the relationship, as unresolved issues continue to linger and erode the foundation of trust.
Conclusion
In the garden of marriage, what we feed grows, and what we starve dies. By nurturing the seeds of love with communication, connection, effort, and commitment, couples can cultivate a relationship that flourishes and withstands the test of time.
Just as a well-tended garden yields bountiful harvests, a marriage nurtured with care and dedication can bring joy, fulfillment, and lasting happiness to both spouses.
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