Marriage is one of the most rewarding relationships in life—but it also requires intentional effort and self-awareness. While there are many things a husband can do to strengthen his relationship, there are also certain habits that quietly chip away at emotional connection, trust, and intimacy. Sometimes, what you stop doing is just as important as what you start doing.
At Ultimate Intimacy, we are committed to helping couples build lasting, passionate, and faith-centered marriages. This article is not about blame, it is about awareness, growth, and the opportunity to become the husband your spouse deeply desires and deserves.
Here are 7 habits husbands should stop doing to create a stronger, healthier, and more intimate marriage.
1. Stop Tuning Out During Conversations
Your spouse is not looking for a perfect answer—she is looking for your presence. One of the most common complaints from wives in long-term marriages is that they feel unheard or ignored. Dr. John Gottman, renowned marriage researcher, found that couples who remain emotionally connected over time are those who frequently “turn toward” each other instead of away.
In other words, when your spouse talks, look her in the eyes, put down your phone, and engage. According to the Gottman Institute, emotionally responsive husbands are 82 percent more likely to have a happy marriage.
Tuning out might seem harmless, but over time it sends the message that your spouse does not matter. Real listening builds trust and emotional safety.
2. Stop Avoiding Difficult Conversations
Avoiding tough topics might keep the peace temporarily, but long-term it creates resentment and disconnection. Whether it is about finances, intimacy, parenting, or emotional needs, communication is the foundation of a thriving marriage.
A study from the American Psychological Association shows that couples who regularly discuss difficult topics with honesty and respect report higher levels of marital satisfaction. Avoidance only leads to assumptions, frustration, and unmet expectations.
It takes courage to lean into discomfort—but growth and connection are always on the other side of hard conversations.
3. Stop Prioritizing Work or Hobbies Over Your Spouse
Work is important. Hobbies are healthy. But when they consistently come before your spouse, it sends the message that she is not your priority. Marriage expert Dr. Scott Stanley emphasizes that commitment is one of the strongest predictors of marital success. That means being intentional about investing in your relationship.
Ask yourself: Do I give my best energy to my job and only what is left over to my spouse? Do I cancel or reschedule time with her for other obligations?
Start showing your spouse that she is your first priority, not an afterthought.
4. Stop Using Criticism Instead of Constructive Feedback
No one enjoys being constantly told what they are doing wrong. Criticism, especially when it attacks character, erodes emotional intimacy and can lead to defensiveness or withdrawal.
The Gottman Institute identifies criticism as one of the “Four Horsemen” of relationship breakdowns. Instead of saying “You never help around the house,” try saying “I feel overwhelmed and would really appreciate your help.”
Replace blame with vulnerability and frustration with requests. It is not about avoiding feedback, it is about how you deliver it.
5. Stop Taking Intimacy for Granted
Physical intimacy is more than just sex, it is about connection, trust, and feeling desired. Many wives report feeling emotionally disconnected when intimacy becomes routine or only physical.
A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that couples who regularly express affection through touch, compliments, and emotional closeness experience greater overall satisfaction and deeper connection.
Stop viewing intimacy as just a physical act. Start cultivating emotional closeness through thoughtful gestures, compliments, and nonsexual touch. Intimacy is nurtured, not demanded.
6. Stop Withholding Appreciation
Gratitude is powerful. Yet many husbands fall into the trap of assuming their spouse knowsthey are appreciated, without actually saying it. The truth is, everyone wants to feel seen and valued.
In a study from the University of Georgia, researchers found that expressing gratitude was one of the most consistent predictors of a happy marriage. Husbands who regularly thanked their spouse—even for everyday things like making dinner or doing laundry—had significantly higher relationship satisfaction.
A simple “thank you” can change the atmosphere of your marriage.
7. Stop Letting Technology Come Between You
We live in a digital world, but screens should never replace presence. Too often, phones and TVs become silent barriers between husbands and their spouses. Research from Pew found that 51 percent of married adults say their spouse is often distracted by their phone during conversations.
Your spouse deserves your full attention—not your distracted glances while scrolling. Make intentional tech-free time a part of your daily rhythm. Sit together without screens. Talk without interruptions. Be fully present.
Real connection happens when the devices are off and the hearts are open. That is unless you are playing the Ultimate Intimacy App bedroom games, or non graphic sex positionstogether, because if you are going to be on your device, you should be strengthening your marriage 🙂
Final Thoughts
Marriage is a journey of growth, refinement, and rediscovery. Being a better husband does not require a grand transformation overnight. It begins with noticing your habits and being willing to make small shifts that lead to lasting change.
None of us are perfect husbands. We all have blind spots and flaws. But when you choose to listen more, show appreciation, prioritize intimacy, and engage with your spouse wholeheartedly, you are not just improving your marriage—you are becoming the man you were meant to be.
If you are ready to reignite passion, build emotional connection, and grow in spiritual intimacy, the Ultimate Intimacy App is here to help. With conversation starters, intimacy ideas, and marriage-strengthening resources, it is your go-to tool for building the marriage you both desire.
Your marriage matters. Your spouse matters. And the small changes you make today can lead to extraordinary transformation tomorrow.
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- Live Polls – Engage in real-time with your spouse.
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We can’t wait to hear how the U&I app helps you and your spouse create the marriage you’ve always dreamed of. Here’s to stronger bonds, more fun, and lots of love!
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